MDMA at a small gathering: working through an anxious comeup

Setting & intention — A small gathering with people I knew well; I was hoping for connection and didn't want to overdo it.

Preparation — I reagent-tested the substance beforehand, planned to skip a redose, kept water within reach (sipping, not chugging), and we kept the room cool.

Comeup — About forty-five minutes in I hit a wave of anxiety and a racing feeling that worried me. I stepped outside, slowed my breathing, and reminded myself it was the comeup and would pass — within ten minutes it eased into the warmth and openness I'd expected.

Peak — Talkative and connected, with some jaw tension I managed with gum. I declined a redose when it was offered.

Afterward — I was tired and a little flat the next day, which I'd planned for by keeping the following day light.

What I'd note — The anxious start was the hardest part; having a plan (step out, breathe, don't add more) made it something to move through rather than panic about. Testing and pacing did the heavy lifting.